Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The By-The-Book-Perfect Man

In a conversation with my friend about Love and almost anything under the sun over coffee, he left me too many questions that I am yet to answer leading to this post. All questions revolved around the central theme of finding The One who happens to lack a check or two in your checklist. 

Girls, I am no expert at Love but I know a few things or two, and you may disagree with most of what I have to say, and I am in no position to change those beliefs but here's what I have to say:

1. Responsible 

Translation: Priorities. A man who knows his priorities knows that in order for you to live that happily ever after you BOTH always dreamed of, he's got to have a plan, and a back up plan and a back up plan to his back up plan. He's preparing himself so that when the right time comes and he can support you, take care of you and be with you, he's got nothing to worry about except how to plainly ask your hands from your father. In short, He knows his priorities. He knows that at 18 he's got to have good grades so when he reach 21 he can have any job he wants and by 25 he's leaning everything he needs to know about life, and by 28, hopefully, he's got it all figured out: He wants YOU in his life.

2. Someone You Can Be Silly With

Literally and metaphorically, really! Silly enough that when you're so down and all your friends did everything they could, all he needs to do is crack a-not-so-funny joke and voila, you understand why so many things happen for a reason and you silently thank God that in those many things, He gave you this man beside you to be silly with, to poke fun of and seldom gets offended because he knows you to the core of your being and cheer you up when things don't go always as planned. 

3. Conversationalist

You know how Ted and Barney always do huge stuff, so they could later on talk about it and  brag about it to their friends? and by the finale, Ted and the Mother had reached this point wherein they know all of each other's story? Woman, the forever that you're planning in your mind, is a long time. If you can't keep a man like Ted by your side, Forever will be a boring one. Screw Nicholas Sparks and his belief that silence draw people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. People who talk it through, gets it through. 

4. Shares Your Interest

Im not disowning the phenomena that opposite attracts, I firmly believe that. However, through the course of time, someday you've got to find a common ground and LOVE, frankly speaking ISN'T ENOUGH. You can't go around reading books while your partner's trying every extreme sport while trying not to break his neck in the process. At the end of the day you would want to know the team he's rooting for in NBA (so you could go against him) and he'd want him to remember the quote you totally relate in a book you've just read, which my friends, lead us back to number 3. 

5. Logical

No relationship is perfect. We should all know that by now. And when the time comes when you both disagree at a certain circumstance, issues ensues and maybe men isn't always the winning team but when a guy went all out, its always the harsh truth. So want a man that's logical. Want a man that when things aren't looking good and your hormones are at red limits, he understands. Want a man that when things are gruesome at school, at work or even at home, he won't stray you away, instead he will always have the right things to say. 

6. Has Faith and is not Poor of it

Religion-wise and Loyalty wise. Maybe its a bit traditional and maybe its a standard not a lot can understand but I've seen how my parents were and how we were raised. God-centered. Them, staying for more than 22 years together is a reflection of how their Love and Commitment is sealed by the grace of God. I've seen it work more many times. Old couple going to church, Grandparents renewing their vows. I could go on. And all these, all because they are wealthy in Faith. And lastly,

7. Very Much In Love with You

To the point that if he can give you the moon, stars and the sun, he will and he would. (think Howard of BBT. He gave his wife a star necklace which he had to take back when he leave for a space mission so that he could actually give her a star from space!) But most especially, he's in love with who your are: bare faced, with fats and flabs, cranky, brutally outspoken, Ryan Gosling-swooning and always scrutinizingly overthinking. He loves every bit of your personality, he is your number one fan and your dream motivator. He will be the one cheering for and supporting you as you chase your dreams. He wouldn't hold you back, instead he will push you to do your best. He will give you the space you need but just enough that when you need him you could easily reach him out.

Some of you couldn't help but ask, where Physique and Looks comes in the equation. Girl, these are all superficial stuff. You can't be with someone you are not even remotely attracted to. Attraction is a subjective disposition of each individual. A standard is of no use. But I must say a really nice smile and oh yes, those ripped arms doesn't hurt. 

So woman, never ever think your standards are too high or far worse, even toning it down to little less than you deserve because no such man is ever alive. They exist, and they may not be beside you but they are somewhere, making through life and realizing they need to up their game because they themselves don't deserve anything less for the woman of their dreams. Its only a matter of time and patience. They too will have their turn. 

Any less than my version of by-the-book-perfect Man, isn't The One, because if #7 applies, everything else follows. 


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